There was a time when a therapist might recommend you watch porn to de-stress and release. Today, the idea that guys who are into porn simply have a high sex drive or that it’s healthy to watch porn has been debunked.
There are growing numbers of men around the globe who are quitting porn for good – why is that?
If you've become obsessed with porn, maybe you already have an inkling that something’s not right:
Whether or not you’re aware of it, your PMO habit is affecting the rest of your life. Here's a run-through of some of the most important reasons to quit porn.
If someone said you could upgrade from your pixelated world of porn to a more active, satisfying real sex life, we're pretty sure you'd trade in the porn.
The more deeply immersed into online erotica you get, the more likely it is that your real sex life is lagging behind.
Feeling physically numb and/or mentally absent during sex? If yes, you’re experiencing the side effects of a compulsive porn habit, which are limiting pleasure in the bedroom for both you and your partner.
Or maybe you’ve developed ED or another sexual dysfunction, which is preventing you from enjoying sex – or having any at all.
In both scenarios, a lack of confidence and feelings of shame and guilt are common. Rebooting is your ticket to a more fulfilling sex life, here's how.
Many guys who are regularly watching pornography find they’ve lost interest in other areas of life, and how all they can think about is porn, or sex in general.
Why?
Your brain is having to pump out a lot of extra dopamine to keep up with all the stimulation it’s getting from porn, and this causes desensitisation. Because of this, you could find yourself feeling numb to real life experiences.
This isn’t the only way that porn could be affecting your headspace. Studies show that for men, it can also change how you perceive women, leading to more sexist beliefs and behaviour.
And although watching porn isn't going to turn all guys into angry misogynists, those who get hooked are more likely to dehumanise what they see on the screen, and to then objectify women in the real world as a result.
'I sometimes wonder how many times I’m looking at a woman who might actually be experiencing a feeling of attraction for me, but who feels something incongruent coming back from me, not only incongruent, but very impersonal and potentially aggressive. I can’t imagine anything creepier than this.' Reddit user Zenmon
Because of the desensitisation process, when you tune into porn habitually your tolerance for what will turn you on builds up. You might start going for more violent, extreme porn to get off, and become more aggressive in the bedroom too .
You might not have become overtly sexist, but you might be noticing some thoughts crop up that you’re not proud of, and that don’t feel like ‘you’. If you got into porn young (i.e in your early teens, like most guys), it’s even more possible it’s had a lasting effect on your mindset, as the brain is a lot more malleable at that age.
'The way I see it now, to see girls as sex objects actually means you want very little. [...]Life is so much bigger than sex, and girls can give you so much more of themselves than their vagina. Only wanting sex seems like you’re cheating yourself out of the greatest experiences life can offer.' Reddit user newblue52
If you've been hooked on porn for a while, your brain has probably been altered, and your concentration and memory will have taken a blow. Luckily, these changes aren’t permanent, and rebooting can rewire your brain.
Once the brain fog lifts, you'll have more mental clarity to work towards your goals. Or, to set goals in the first place; as you might have felt unmotivated for so long that you’ve got no real sense of what your dreams and goals even are..
'My brain was always foggy, I was always demotivated and never had the energy to do anything as a 20 year old. [...] I realised I had so much more time and energy without PMO. I put those resources back into studying and working out, which made me more productive and built my confidence. Reddit user Subject_Conference611
Without PMO zapping all your energy when you stop watching porn, you’ll be more focused and productive, with more energy to put into the things that matter, like socialising, dating, work and exercise. You’ll be able to set goals and reach them, and as an outcome you’ll become more confident and content. It's no wonder guys who reboot boast about having superpowers:
'[What] are the superpowers I discovered? I think it’s better to leave it to you to discover. They are much much better than you think, maybe something you have been dreaming to have, and didn’t believe one day you [would] have.' User Futuredoctore
Watching too much porn puts certain neurochemical processes into overdrive, leaving you feeling detached from the world around you. So if you’re feeling numb, distant, and unable to engage – read this to understand why.
Emotional connection is essential for solid, satisfying relationships. When you can connect with others emotionally you'll have better luck dating, and a more fulfilling time socialising.
When you quit porn and reboot, your sensitivity for life starts to flood back. As you become more in tune emotionally, you’ll feel more social, positive and confident.
We've all been there. Turning to porn out of curiosity in our early teens, hoping to find out how sex 'works'.
Fact is, porn isn’t sex education – it gives you unrealistic ideas and expectations about sex, causing insecurity and a lack of enjoyment when you're getting down to it IRL.
‘For the first time in human history, [pornographic] images’ power and allure have supplanted that of real naked women. Today, real naked women are just bad porn.”
– Naomi Wolf
When you watch porn, you're filling your brain with BS ideas of how women ‘should’ look, how big your dick ‘should’ be, and how you ‘should’ be performing in the bedroom.
'We dated for 2 years and I treated her like trash. I resented her because she wasn’t what porn told me was sexy. [...]She was the girl she was supposed to be and it’s still hard for me to not hate myself for not treating her like a princess.' Reddit user newblue52
Maybe your online expeditions have led you to some hardcore, extreme content; there’s been a radical shift in what turns you on, and you’re wondering how you got there.
When you struggle to find partners who are willing or able to match the levels of intensity you’re now into, this escalation in taste can set off feelings of disappointment and shame. You might wind up feeling like real sex doesn’t work out for you.
For enjoyable, fulfilling sex, being in the present moment is key. It’s time to break away from the fantasies, and come back to what’s true, what’s natural, and what’s really sexy.
You want to be aware of all the sensations – yours and your partner’s. To get there, you need to wipe your mental harddrive of all the false notions you’ve downloaded over the years from porn.
If you need more reasons to reboot, consider this: porn is so normalised in our culture, most of us don't stop to question what's going on behind the scenes. The reality is, by watching porn, we’re driving up the demand for an industry that’s built on exploitation and violence.
A huge portion of the content that’s available online is actually masking sex trafficking and abuse, the filming fueled by desperation and coercion. Once you get to know the truth about the porn industry, it makes you question whether this is really something you want to be supporting with your clicks.
We’ve only just skimmed the surface here: the truth is, when you look at how good life after porn can be, there are way more reasons to reboot.
If you’re still not convinced that it’s time to stop watching porn, ask yourself this: do you want your porn habit to be what defines you?
'I once heard that you’re defined by what you do everyday... And porn was my one, consistent, everyday activity. Was this who I was?' Reddit user newblue52
Kick the habit for good to reclaim your life. Join the thousands of guys around the globe who are rebooting with the free REMOJO app.
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