How Yo Be A Great Accountability Partner For Someone Quitting Pornography

Become a Great Accountability Partner

As an

accountability partner

(or AP) you’ve been trusted into your friend’s inner circle. You’ll be notified if he…

Turns off his blocker

Uninstalls the REMOJO app

Unsubscribes from the service

Resets his streak

Knowing you’ll see this can give him the extra push he needs to reach his goals! But there are extra things that you can do to go beyond as an AP. You’re a friend, not a therapist or coach, and it’s not your job to teach or guide him. But here’s what you can do.

Regularity

You should schedule times to talk at least weekly. No need to wait for a concerning report — or to be overbearing by asking how your partner is doing all the time.

Not all the talk has to be about this journey, but if your friend knows that in a few days you’ll be talking about how everything is going, it can really motivate him to hold the line.

Encouragement and Feedback

Changing a years-long habit is challenging. Everyone from an athlete to a soldier performs better with a team celebrating them. Congratulate your friend when he crosses milestones and is building the better life he wants!

If you see that he’s not sticking to his commitment, don’t be afraid to press the issue. Ask him what he thinks is going wrong. What needs to change? Does he have devices that aren’t protected by REMOJO? Does he need to increase the blocker strength? Activate PIN protection? Has he worked the REMOJO courses to learn how to break these habits and live pornfree?

Support

Mistakes and setbacks are likely going to happen, and that can leave your friend feeling low and discouraged. Maybe even ashamed to face you. He needs to know that you’re still here in the trenches with him.

You believe in him and you’re there to help figure out next steps. He’s probably already telling himself that he failed. Remind him of why he subscribed to REMOJO in the first place. Remind him that bad feelings are temporary. Mistakes are for learning from, and then we move on!

Emergencies

There will be times when your friend feels triggered or tempted to break his commitment. If he knows he can call you when that happens, just speaking with you can really help.

When you get this call, ask good questions and listen. Often it just takes a little time and company for an urge to pass. The more wins he stacks up and the longer he’s been pornfree, the easier it gets!

Trust and respect

Your friend should feel safe to share vulnerable details of his struggle without feeling judged for them. You can offer suggestions and advice, but it’s ultimately up to him to decide what steps to take.

This journey isn’t one-size-fits-all. At the same time, your friend should know that sometimes we can’t see clearly from the inside of this, and he should value your outside perspective.

Camaraderie

If you’re also committed to living pornfree, then you can share a strong bond from being on the same team—like going to war against a common enemy!

Even if you’re not trying to quit porn, you likely have goals of your own. Accountability can go both ways. And of course it’s not all about accountability and policing each other. Just be real, keep a sense of humor, and have fun!

STAKES

Sometimes, we need a little extra motivation to stay the course. In the REMOJO app, your friend can raise the stakes by putting money on the line. If he slips up, he'll owe you the amount he chose. This way when he's tempted he'll know that acting out comes with a price tag!

On his behalf, thank you for standing strong with your friend! 💪

The REMOJO Team

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