Many of our members feel that quitting P has to be hard or difficult. They come in with a David Goggins mindset - i.e. that of the “hard-a-holic” - as I call them. Because sexual self-mastery (starting with quitting P), is the first step in many men’s journey towards fulfilling their masculine potential, they come in with the same mindset that one would have for a gruelling crossfit workout. There’s a place for pushing yourself to the limit with extreme challenges and tests of will, but that’s not a daily, 24/7 practice like maintaining sexual self-mastery, and can’t apply to abstaining from something.

Abstinence has to be more about letting go, and then crowding out what you’re trying to avoid so that it’s sustainable over the long term (or even over a 24-hour period, for some!).

If you start the journey of sexual self-mastery and quitting P with the idea that you’re going to struggle and fight it off for your first 30 or 90 days, then you don’t really have a strategy, you just have willpower. You really want to save that willpower and use it on something positive, that helps you take an opportunity, build something, or achieve a positive outcome in your life. Spending it all on negating something leaves you with no drive to move forward.

If you’re relying on willpower and ‘struggling’, then chances are that you’re not using the various strategies available for killing your motivation, making it less rewarding, cutting triggers from your life, and redirecting your urges into new, positive habit loops that serve you. The strategic moves that we teach in our coaching programs are for making things easy and sustainable.

If quitting P is really hard, then you have too many triggers in your life, it’s too easy to act out, you’re indulging in fantasy and visualisation too often, and you have mixed, conflicting motivations, indicating a lack of real commitment.

While putting the strategy in place and sticking to it might certainly be challenging, it doesn’t have to be, and it certainly can’t be if you want to kick P from your life for good.

So let go of this idea that your journey is going to be hard, tough and demanding, and start being strategic.

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