Many guys have a profound fear of giving up P due to exaggerating the role of sex and sexuality in their life and making it a core part of their identity.

They can’t imagine going without sexual pleasure for any length of time, and they see it as some kind of primary need that MUST be satisfied.

But these sexual needs are really just desires. Many people of all ages and cultures live beautifully happy lives abstaining from all forms of sexual activity - for example, people of all major religious faiths who preserve themselves before marriage.

Your Libido Is Not Your Identity

You shouldn’t make your sexuality and libido a part of your identity because if you’re anything like the vast majority of men, it’s going to drop over time and gradually fade to nothing, or at least greatly diminish as you age. Of course, we want to preserve our vitality and virility for as long as possible, and I encourage that, but you can’t stop the curve from sloping gently downwards over time. So, if your sexual pleasure and libido are part of your identity, you’re setting yourself up for an existential crisis as you age. You need to have a grander sense of self and identity, which can sustain you all the way; one that’s wholly human and not tied to your animalistic appetites, which fluctuate wildly based on diet, age, hormones, and other factors.

I can’t imagine making my sexuality part of my identity. I’ve never even thought about identifying as heterosexual until writing this at 33! I’ve always felt defined by human qualities: my purpose, values, mission and accomplishments, primarily.

Abstaining from porn and masturbation won't kill you

As for sexual pleasure or release being a need, your body already has a natural mechanism for handling the physiological aspects of waiting for the right woman - wet dreams. You don’t need to do anything apart from stay focused on building your life, living on purpose and finding your ideal partner. Your body will take care of itself once you accept that everything is perfectly designed, and just start getting on with your mission. Rather than fight against the body, you submit to its design features.

Most Millenials and Gen Z have never gone through a period of abstinence of longer than a few days or a week, with some studies showing as many as 35% of college-aged guys watching P every single day, so they’ve never really come out the other side and breathed a sigh of relief upon realising that this frantic sense of neediness is simply immaturity and inexperience.

You don't have to become an ascetic monk

There’s nothing to fear from giving up P. With our REMOJO clients, we help them define positive sexual expression that aligns with their values and ethos, so quitting P is not about being an ascetic or monk. You don’t have to go to extremes. But this irrational fear of “what am I going to do without P to fulfil my libido and relieve sexual tension while I’m single” is exactly that - irrational fear based on inexperience.

It’s quite easy for a truly adult man, who has mastered himself and knows his standards, to hold back and refrain from what doesn’t benefit him or align with his ethos.