Let's face it. Porn is all over the internet, and it's never been easier to access. These days, with speedy Internet connection wherever we are, and endless hours of porn just a click away – everyone has watched or is watching porn.
So what's the problem?
Well, it's a lot easier than you might think for a casual porn watching habit to rapidly descend into an unhealthy addiction that can have a negative impact on your life, both physically and mentally.
How to know if you've got a problem?
These are 5 of the main signs of a porn addiction, which will help you identify whether or not you have an unhealthy habit. Part of the problem is already solved when you can recognise the cause, and from there it's an upward journey to recovery (and we're here to help with that bit).
This could be the case for you if...
So, how are these sex issues anything to do with watching loads of porn?
The answer lies in one of our happy hormones: dopamine. Dopamine’s job is to send out 'go-get-it' messages which motivate you to react to external stimuli.
When you repeatedly go for extreme stimuli like porn, your brain releases more dopamine than usual. The more dopamine that's released, the less sensitive you become to it. The less sensitive your brain is to dopamine, the less pleasure you can feel from natural, less extreme stimuli (i.e real sex partners, real life sex). Check out this article to geek out further on dopamine's role in the addiction process.
If you're hooked on porn, these aren't the only problems you could be experiencing in the bedroom...
If you've been having any of these problems recently... it's possible that it’s to do with porn use:
Don’t worry though, you're not alone: the number of guys having bedroom dysfunctions is on the rise, here's the proof...
Research shows there’s been a sharp rise in cases of ED among young guys, affecting up to 1 in 4 men under 40, and it’s strongly linked to porn use. Not all dudes get ED or other sexual dysfunctions because of porn: depending on your age, it could be to do with other bodily complications or illnesses. So if you are struggling, it’s worth visiting your physician/GP to get to the root of the problem.
If your ED is porn-induced, your penis hasn't stopped working. Trouble in the trouser department is actually down to physical changes in your brain (reversible changes, thankfully) which make it hard (no pun intended) for the necessary messages to get to your penis to get things functioning as they should.
For a deeper look at why you’ve lost your mojo, read this article about the effects of porn on the brain.
Getting into some pretty hardcore porn? Stuff that you would have never watched in the past, and feel kind of ashamed to be watching?
More than that: what if you're finding you actually need to tune into more extreme content just to get off?
Maybe you know something's up because you've also developed a taste for other extreme content - not just sex - but horror, violence, and/or some straight-up weird shit.
‘At the height of my porn use I was looking at other f——ed up sh-t on websites to do with fights, gore, death..basically all things f——ed up. I was watching 20 videos a day, wouldn’t even flinch if I saw a video of someone breaking a leg etc. I was basically desensitized.’ - Your Brain Rebalanced
As strange as it might seem, changes to your taste and tolerance levels are a common effect of overloading on porn.
It’s a need for novelty that sends your dopamine transmitters into overdrive and gets you hooked on porn. With your dopamine levels firing, and your tolerance adapting to whatever you’re watching (however extreme), you become desensitized to that content, and need to seek out something new and more extreme to get off.
So if you are getting into some hardcore shit online you can put your mind at ease and shake off the shame. What's happened is a clear example of a porn habit that got out of hand, and rebooting will fix it.
Here's a scenario:
It's your best friend's birthday – a big one too. All the gang are getting together for the first time in ages. The sun is out, the BBQ is going, and everyone around you is having a great time. Meanwhile, you're feeling weirdly out of it, a bit restless... even a bit bored. Also, you might be thinking about when you can go home to watch some porn.
‘When you fap for a long time, you don’t quite feel empathetic about anything really, or let me say it this way: There is only this black/white scheme of emotions. You are just normal or really sad. At least this was the case for me. Also, I numbed down on emotions in general. It really hit me like a ton of bricks when all these feelings came back into my life!’ - Reddit user
If you're feeling...
... it's time to check out what's going on under the surface.
Maybe you thought you'd just been really tired or a bit depressed. It's not so easy to put the pieces together and realize this all actually stems from your porn habit.
Truth is, watching too much porn not only numbs and desensitizes you in the bedroom, it can also numb you emotionally.
Here's why: your brain is wired to always find homeostasis (a state of balance) but when it's being bombarded with extreme stimuli, it adapts to a new 'norm', based on the level of stimulation it's receiving.
So any experience that isn't providing that level of stimulation won't do anything for you any more, and you'll wind up feeling numb from normal everyday experiences that you previously really enjoyed and looked forward to.
‘For years I wondered why I was so anxious and awkward around people. Why had I never had a girlfriend? Other people seemed to naturally connect and have affection for each other, but I always felt like I had to fake it, as if I wasn’t human.’ - Reddit user
It's possible you've also been feeling a bit withdrawn socially recently – or maybe you have for so long that you thought that was just normal for you.
Maybe you used to be very extroverted, the life and soul of the party, and these days you feel weirdly awkward, self conscious, and find yourself dreading social events.
What's it like to experience social anxiety?
You could be avoiding eye contact, feeling awkward with hugs, and overthinking everything you say out loud. You could feel like more of a loner than you used to, and find that you don't have the social prowess to hang out in groups anymore.
It's worth mentioning here that these symptoms can appear with any addiction, not just a porn one. This is once again down to our old friend dopamine.
When your dopamine supplies are depleted, you can experience depression, anxiety, and a lack of motivation. Plus, scientists have discovered a link between low dopamine levels and a lack of social confidence, by observing the social habits of apes.
Feeling like your memory is rubbish, you can't concentrate, and can hardly think straight?
When you're running low on dopamine your brain isn't able to delay gratification, and so you don't have the restraint to say no to temptation. You'll find you've become more easily distracted, impulsive with less self control or judgment, and less able to make decisions.
As for your memory, it's the 'working memory capacity' (WMC) which is impacted by addiction. This is your brain's ability to store away data while you work on a task or deal with a challenge. When you're exposed to addiction triggers your brain is less able to retain that data, and you'll therefore keep forgetting what you were supposed to be doing or working on, or why it even mattered.
Feeling forgetful and a bit foggy headed once in a while is normal and not a big deal. But when this is your normal state, it becomes pretty inconvenient and a bit of a problem. Whether you're studying or working, you could find yourself struggling to focus and keep up to speed, and unable to get good results.
For a deeper read at the impact porn is having on men's success at work and school, read this and check out Zimbardo’s TED talk: 'The Demise Of Guys'.
The way our brains take in porn makes it all too easy to end up with an unhealthy habit and adverse side effects. So don’t worry if you identify with more than one of the symptoms we mention here. Remember, the changes you've noticed in how you feel and behave don't have to be there forever – they can be reversed.
Rebooting will get your brain back in tip top condition, and will give you your life back. Why not try 30 days pornfree with REMOJO?
Regardless of how long you've been feeling this way – it's never too late to fix it. In time, you will get your emotions and confidence back, your mojo will fire up again, and life will improve in ways you're not even expecting.
So what can you do about it now? Download REMOJO, the most effective app for rebooting and get started today (it's free). We're rooting for you.
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